Deborah Alton

Deborah specializes in working with separated, divorced and cooperative and high conflict families providing collaborative processed separations, flat fee collaborative divorce process, assessments, mediation, reintegration/reintegration therapy, parent- child contact problems, therapy, voice of the child reports, custody and access assessments, parenting coordination/arbitration and therapeutic services for children and families impacted by divorce. Deborah provides training to lawyers and mental health professionals and has presented at numerous conferences. She is a co-author of a book: The Joy of an Ex: The divorce process.. preserving your family’s dignity, privacy and financial resources (2010).

Deborah is the founder of Reflection Centre and maintains an independent private practice. She is a long standing Simcoe County Collaborative Practice board member and served on the board as the programming director for Seasons Centre for Grieving Children. Deborah’s goal is to provide child-focused services, assist parents in reducing conflict, and guide families to improve the overall well being of families.

Common Myths about Divorce

Myth: Divorce is the end of my world.

Fact: Divorce is only one event in your life. You can choose to give up hope or you can choose to treat it as a new opportunity to improve your life.

Myth: My spouse must be made to pay for breaking our vow.

Fact: Regardless of who decides to end the marriage, no one is blamed monetarily. We have what is called a “no fault” divorce.

Myth: I get half of everything my spouse owns and he/she gets half of everything I own.

Fact: You do not necessarily get half of his tools, or half of her jewellery, etc. The value of all assets and liabilities amassed during the marriage are accounted for by each of you and the person who has more net family property than the other pays half of the difference to the other spouse. The idea is that each person will share equally in the growth or loss from the marriage. There are certain rules applicable to certain assets, for example gifts and inheritances received during marriage are exempted from the calculation.

Myth: If I ask for what is fair, my spouse is going to want me to go lower and so I will ask for a ridiculously high amount for support or property division.

Fact: It is best to negotiate in good faith rather than to take an unreasonable stand which could scuttle negotiations.

Myth: The children will see what an idiot my spouse is when I explain to them what he/she is expecting me to settle for.

Fact: The children ought not be expected or asked to take sides or to be involved in adult issues. They need to know that each parent loves them and that they are free to love their parent without fear of repercussions from the other parent.

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Using the Collaborative process to resolve the issues arising from your marriage is the most respectful, sensible and cost effective way to do so. Speak to a Collaborative professional to find out how the process works.

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Collaborative Practice Simcoe County is group of Collaborative Divorce Professionals in Simcoe County serving the Greater Barrie, Innisfil, Collingwood and Orillia areas.

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